The Art of Blending: Thriving as a Resilient and Loving Blended Family
When I divorced my ex of 17 years three years ago, we were all under the impression that the parenting time would be split 50/50. Six months into the separation, things rapidly changed.
For a long time, the idea of a blended family was considered rather taboo in the eyes of society. Until recent years, the “traditional” picture of a family once held the spotlight as the only "normal" family setup. Anything else was considered a bit unconventional and maybe even strange.
Families are incredibly intricate tapestries of life. They are complex, sometimes complicated, and things don't always turn out how you may have intended. Whether it’s navigating through tough times, dealing with a relationship's ebb, or the dissolution of a marriage, people find themselves sculpting these remarkable blended families. It's like taking the unexpected and, through resilience and love, turning it into a masterpiece of togetherness.
Blended families have the ability to bring people together from different backgrounds, experiences, and perspectives. They create a space where differences can be celebrated and where love knows no boundaries. It may not always be smooth sailing, but blended families have a resilience that cannot be easily broken.
When I divorced my ex of 17 years three years ago, we were all under the impression that the parenting time would be split 50/50. Six months into the separation, things rapidly changed. The kids decided to live with me full-time, completely disrupting the balance and “family post-divorce” I had initially envisioned.
As the months went by, we slowly adjusted to our new reality. I realized that despite the unexpected change, this new dynamic had the potential to become something beautiful. I had the opportunity to redefine what it means to be family and to create the family I've always desired
My partner moved in with me in August 2021 we knew the challenges that were ahead of us to blend our family and the hurt and confusion that our children had experienced due to the divorce.
Merging two households into one blended family is never an easy task. It requires patience, commitment, mutual respect, and a whole lot of grace for every member of the family to feel truly a part of the new family unit that’s being created. And even when you think it’s going great, unforeseen challenges will inevitably become known, potentially causing hurt and regret.
There were days when the kids would resist the changes and long for the familiarity of their old lives. There were nights when we stayed up late, talking and addressing their fears and concerns. But through it all, we remained committed to creating a loving and resilient blended family.
FROM MY JOURNEY OVER THE LAST TWO YEARS, HERE ARE SEVEN THINGS WE DID TO THRIVE AS A BLENDED FAMILY.
PRACTICE PRESENCE, PATIENCE, AND UNDERSTANDING:
Blended families often come with unique dynamics and challenges. It's essential to have patience and understanding as everyone adjusts to their new roles and relationships. It takes time for bonds to form and for everyone to feel comfortable and secure within the family. Allow relationships to develop naturally rather than forcing them. One of the things that we made sure of in the early stages of blending our family was not to impose the idea of family on the kids until they were the ones who started to identify us as a family.
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